In the midst of chaos, I'm ovulating

As I've mentioned in the past, Matt's dad and I are very close. So naturally, his recent cancer diagnosis has been hard for me to process. My own father passed away eight years ago before I had the opportunity to meet him (that's another story for a different day) so I quickly adopted Matt's dad as my own. I've listened to his "good old days" stories more times than I can count, but never tire of hearing them. We share several inside jokes (usually at my mother-in-law's expense). After Matt's horrible car accident two years ago, Tony was my rock. He was the one who encouraged and supported me. The one who kept me grounded and made sure that I took time to take care of myself.

Matt is struggling with his dad's diagnosis, but Matt is one of those people who tends to bottle up all of their emotions. He's a tough man and doesn't want to appear dependent. Matt struggles with all things beyond his control. In the midst of confusion, hurt and anger, I'm ovulating. Mother Nature sure has crappy timing, doesn't she? But Matt and I desperately want a child. And Tony desperately wants a grandchild.

Matt and I often joke about the closeness of my relationship with my father-in-law. Matt swears that Tony cares about me more than he does his own son. Of course, that isn't true, but they both struggle to express emotion. Two tough, burly men. Matt and I also imagine how his father will react when we someday announce my pregnancy. Tony is protective of me as it is. I can't even fathom what it would be like if I were carrying his first grandchild. The man would never let me out of his sight! My greatest fear is that Tony won't be around to see our children. My own father has already missed out on that opportunity; I don't want Tony to miss it too.

Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers. Pray for Tony's strength and healing. And pray that Matt and I are able to conceive and deliver before Tony's cancer progresses.