Not so Patiently Waiting
“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”
I don't recall praying for patience, but apparently, God decided that I needed a good healthy dose of it! I'm now surrounded by the need for patience, but I'm just not a good "waiter". Earlier this week, I stopped by the local Wal-Mart to pick up a few necessities on my way home from work. Dressed in my usual work attire--black dress pants, somewhat pressed shirt and heels--I was a woman on a mission. I carried the little blue basket directly to the toothpaste aisle, the shampoo aisle and then on to the bread aisle. As I was trucking from Health and Beauty over to the Grocery side of the store, I heard a woman's voice yell out, "Hey you! Hey! Hey you!" I ignored the voice and kept walking. A few seconds later, the same voice bellowed, "HEY YOU IN THE ORANGE SHIRT!" Aw crap! The last time a stranger flagged me down in the middle of Wal-Mart, it was to tell me that my skirt was tucked in my pantyhose. What on earth could I have done this time? I turned around to see a woman in her fifties, maybe sixties, wearing an obnoxious red floral print blouse with yellow polyester pants and blue eyeshadow. "Awfully nice of Wal-Mart to let crazies like you jog around the store a pretend to be shopping. Bet you save a lot of money not paying for a gym." Startled, I was absolutely speechless. I uttered "Sure", faked a smile and darted off in the opposite direction. I didn't even bother to pick up the bread. Once I got to the car, I began thinking...I'm not a rude shopper, or at least I try not to be. I didn't cut anyone off, push past anyone or even brush against anyone while in the store. What did I do that irritated her so much? I was in a hurry. Then, it hit me. I'm always in a hurry. I can't even begin to remember the last time that I waited in the checkout line, in traffic or even at work without wishing someone or something would hurry the heck up. Hmmm...
My impatience carries over into our ttc efforts. I want a baby yesterday. Since stress can negatively impact fertility, I've also been doing yoga three times a week. Again, I'm still waiting (not so patiently) for a bfp, but I can definitely tell a difference in my general attitude. Bend, Breathe and Conceive has been a godsend! I've tried a few yoga videos in the past through Netflix, and absolutely hated the low budget, cheesy performances (i.e. a room full of spandex-clad twenty-somethings with fake boobs who talk through the whole video). BB&C has only one instructor, Dr. Anna Davis--a middle-aged REAL woman--who uses voice-over to communicate with participants. Dr. Davis also includes an AWESOME introduction explaining the physiology of stress and how it impacts fertility--The intro. alone is worth checking out the video.
As I mentioned before, this was my first cycle using FertilAid instead of Clomid. Opk's confirmed that I ovulated this month. Yea! However, I'm now on cd 35, af's nowhere in sight and today's hpt was negative. While I'm not yet comfortable declaring FertilAid to be a miracle, it did at the very least, induce ovulation. I'm curious to see how my second cycle goes. I'll keep you all posted!
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