Our Journey

Matthew and I have been actively trying to conceive since 2007. We continue to wait for our miracle...This is our journey.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Good news...and not so good news

The good news??? My father-in-law's biopsy results came back. The mass the MRI detected was only scar tissue (that's been there for a long time and was undetected). They're going to monitor him, but life goes on as usual.

The not so good news? Af arrived in all her glory last night. On to Clomid cycle 2...

Read more...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I was so sure...

It's cd 12 and I was thoroughly convinced that I would get a bfp today. My nipples have ached for nearly a week, though usually my entire bb's hurt. I've had some minor lower back pain and a full feeling in my stomach for the past couple of days. I almost threw up on the way home from work today. And...I got another bfn.

Read more...

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Update on the Drama

Thank you all so much for your support and prayers. It means a lot to me.

The past few days have been pretty trying. After the initial shock wore off, I sat down with Matt and asked several questions about his dad. First of all, the "big" doctor's appointment was back on February 20th. We spent the 22nd at my in-laws' home visiting, but everything seemed normal. My father-in-law goofed around just like always. The following Thursday (the 26th), Matt's mother Ann called him at work to share the news. Matt's older sister Beth still lives with her parents, but she, too received a phone call at work on Thursday. She had no idea until that time. I have some major issues with this whole situation. First off, I realize that possibly tragic news takes some time to digest. It makes since that Ann and Tony would hold onto that information until they had come to terms with it first. I get that. They needed to be at a point of peace and strength before sharing the news with their children. HOWEVER, Matt's mom has a tendency to overreact and leave out details. I wonder if Tony even knows about the phone calls, or at least about the contents. Why in the hell did Ann call the kids at work? My guess is that that was her first chance in nearly a week to make calls when Tony was out of the house or asleep. Ann likes gossip and lives for drama so I'm taking her calls with a grain of salt. For now, Ann has asked that we keep the information to ourselves (just Chris, me and Beth) to prevent the excitement and annoyance that will come once the extended family finds out. That's a respectable expectation, however, Beth actually works at the same company as her cousin. Beth feeds off of attention. Everything in the world centers around her. (Example: In 2007, Matt was in a horrible car accident. He spent over a week in the trauma center of the local hospital. I slept at the hospital every night in a chair and showered in the guest bathrooms on a different floor. Beth visited twice during that week. Lo and behold, she told everyone what a toll her brother's accident had taken on her. She missed two days of work, though she didn't stay at the hospital more than an hour. When Matt and I had to temporarily move in with his parents after the hospital discharge, Beth told everyone that it was SO hard taking care of her brother. I WAS THE ONE CHANGING BANDAGES, BATHING HIM, GIVING HIM MEDICATIONS INCLUDING SHOTS, TRANSPORTING HIM TO FOLLOW UP APPOINTMENTS, ETC. SHE DID NOTHING! Sorry, that one's still a sore spot! :) ) Anyway, when Beth got the call from her mom, she became hysterical. She started screaming and crying and had to leave work early. Due to her behavior, she had to explain the situation to two of her coworkers. It's only a matter of time before the whole world knows.

My own father passed away eight years ago. When I met Matt in 2004, I immediately adopted his dad. When we lived there following the accident, Tony and I spent hours sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and sharing stories. He's an incredible man. He served in the Airforce during both the Korean and Vietnam Wars. He came back to the states to marry and work as a firefighter. This man has given so much for his country, for his family. Tony has shared many a story with me from his Vietnam days, a time period that Matt swears he's never talked about. But I've sat with him while he described gruesome air rescue missions and sights no human eyes should ever have to see. Matt has told me numerous times that his father's attitude changed after we began our chats. Matt says that it's like a burden was lifted. I'm honored to have held such a significant role in Tony's life.

This afternoon, Matt and I are going to visit his parents. We need to get the story straight. If the prognosis isn't good, we'll face that one step at a time. I'm a firm believer in the idea that you should live life without regrets. Regardless of where this road leads, the Tony that I know will always be the fiesty old man who tells great stories and horrible dirty jokes...The man who would give the world for the happiness and safety of his family and never hesitate to put us in our places when we needed to be knocked down a notch or two.

I've already warned Matt that it will be World War 3 if Beth starts her drama today. I can imagine her making comments like "What will I do when Daddy's gone" or "Who's going to take care of me when he's not able to" or even "What will I get when Daddy's gone". I'm not in a mood to deal with any of those questions, especially since the man's in the same health that he was in a week ago. I refuse to listen to that garbage when the man is sitting in the next room. Today, I may be the one to knock someone down a few notches. Beth is 35. She needs to move out and find a life of her own. She needs to learn how to take care of herself.

Read more...

My Blog List

  © Blogger templates Newspaper III by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP