Our Journey

Matthew and I have been actively trying to conceive since 2007. We continue to wait for our miracle...This is our journey.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Keeping the Faith

I got a little overzealous this afternoon and tested. Yes, I know that it's too early. I'm just not a very patient person these days. :) I had some tenderness in my lower abdomen yesterday and my nipples are still really sore. I keep hoping for the best but preparing for our 2nd cycle on Clomid. Matthew and I found out yesterday that his dad has some serious health issues. An MRI found a mass between his heart and lung. They aren't sure if it's scar tissue or cancer, but the doctor said that either way, it doesn't look good. I'm really close to Matt's dad--I've sort of adopted him as my own and can't imagine having children without him around. I just pray that his visit with a specialist in March gives us good news. Please keep our family in your thoughts.

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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

How long do Clomid side effects last?

I'm now on cd23 and am STILL nauseus! Odd smells and the thought of certain foods make me queasy. It's WAY too early for these to be pg symptoms so I'm sure that they're connected to the Clomid. How long do the side effects last? Maybe it's just my body adjusting to the correct ratios of hormones, but I feel like crap...

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Sunday, February 22, 2009

Reflexology

I just realized that I failed to mention reflexology in my last post. I had my first reflexology treatment on February 13th. Although I'd done some research online, I wasn't sure exactly what to expect from the appointment. When I arrived at the center, Gail (my friend who not-so-subtly suggested reflexology) greeted me at the door with a smile. After I removed my socks and shoes, she led me back to a huge, comfy chair, propped my feet on a pillow and turned on soft music. We talked for a few minutes about my ttc journey and PCOS, the underlying condition that has caused my body not to work the way that it's supposed to. Gail guided me through a series of relaxing deep breaths and encouraged me to close my eyes and "just be". Now, I absolutely love when Matthew rubs my feet, but he only lasts five or ten minutes before a hand cramp sets in or he decides that it's his turn to be on the receiving end. So, I was quite elated when Gail massaged each foot for thirty minutes. The session wasn't painful by any sense of the word, but definitely different. She touched my feet and ankles in places that even I never knew existed! When she finished, I was so relaxed that I could barely move--not just my feet but my entire body. IT WAS AWESOME!!!

The following Monday, I visited Gail again. I have agreed to be her guinnea pig as she learns and practices new techniques (free sessions are free sessions!). Monday's treatment was quite different than the first one. This time, Gail led me back to a massage room, had me strip down to my undies and crawl under the sheet and blanket on the table. While lying on my back, Gail placed hot stones/crystals on my chakra points. The belief is that different colored stones/crystals rearrange your body's energy. Not sure that I buy into that, afterall, I'm a conservative Southern Baptist! But it was definitely relaxing. Gail, then, completed the reflexology session using hot stones instead of her fingers. While I must admit that the stones were a tad bit uncomfortable at times due to their slightly rough texture, the sensations were very relaxing.

I'm scheduled to visit Gail again tomorrow for another session. Who knows what that one might be like!

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My First Clomid Month

My first Clomid cycle has been interesting to say the least. I took 100 mgs on cds 3-7 and had expected horrible side effects. To my suprise, I survived those days without as much as a headache. No hot flashes, etc. as other women have reported. I did have mood swings, but I'm not sure if that was a direct result of the Clomid or just my usual af hormones. Quite honestly, I thought I was out of the woods. WRONG! Around cd 10, I began feeling a little nausea. And it was all downhill from there! :) According to opks, I ovulated sometime between cds 14 and 16. Lazy me forgot to start temping this month due to our relocation during the ice storm. By the time I thought about it, it was too late in my cycle to get any useful information. Around cd 10, I began feeling some nausea. Nothing major, just a little queasy. By cd 12, I was so bloated that my jeans felt uncomfortable. There wasn't any actual pain, just enough discomfort to be annoying. On cd 15, though, I felt like af was on her way! My lower back hurt like hell, my face and hair were greasy and I started to experience minor cramping. Again, nothing painful but irritating. Those symptoms lasted through cd 17. On cd 18, my nipples became REALLY sensitive. In the past, I have tried soy isoflavones to induce ovulation. During those cycles (around the time of a positive opk), my breasts hurt like hell, but my nipples weren't extrodinarily sensitive. I'm hoping this is a good sign. Today (cd 19), my stomach is still tender and the thought of certain foods make me want to puke, but overall, the worst symptoms seem to have faded. I'm curious to see how the remainder of the 2ww goes...

On a slightly different note, one of my closest friends really ticked me off this week. Lynn, who has been my best friend since we were old enough to walk, is currently living out of state. She is also a cyster and endured 2 years of treatments before conceiving her beautiful baby girl. Lynn and I have always been close. While she and her husband were ttc, Lynn often called me to cry, vent or discuss the next step in their journey. After her first IUI, while Lynn was lying in the doctor's office in a paper gown with her feet still in stirrups, she called me. We laughed, we prayed. And nine months later, her miracle was born. The joke is that Lynn's phone call to me was what made the difference. Lynn's baby is now almost five months old and perfectly healthy. She has been blessed. Yesterday, Lynn called just to chit chat. Although we usually talk several times a week, this was our first opportunity to have more than a five minute conversation since I started taking Clomid. Lynn knew that this was our first cycle with meds and even gave me a few pointers on the day that I picked up the prescription. But yesterday was different. She asked how I'd been and I explained the "cliff notes" version of my experience with Clomid. Her only response? "Now you know what I went through for almost two years." There was no "hang in there" or "it'll be worth it". Had she been within my arm's reach, I probably would have slapped her! During Lynn's entire ttc journey, I knew way too much information. I knew exactly what cd she was on, what the opks said and I was her first call after the bfp. Now that our roles are slightly reversed, her attitude has changed greatly. I don't know...Maybe she was just having a tough day. Lynn's husband is currently away for work, so she's left at home to parent an infant alone. Or maybe she's jealous that our journey might not take as long as hers. Or maybe I'm just moody and overreacting. Sigh.....

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Sunday, February 8, 2009

Oh yeah, I've got side effects!

I'm on day 3 of Clomid...and the side effects have finally kicked in! Today has been an emotional roller coaster ride for no reason other than the meds. I've been in a crappy mood all day, just waiting for some innocent person to give me a reason to bite their head off. I snap back to reality for a few seconds, feel guilty for being such a bitch and start crying. And I don't mean a few tears. I mean all out bawling!!! Matt left work at 2 this afternoon and headed out for an evening with the guys. A group of them took ATVs out on a local trail, got lost for 5 hours in the woods, got stuck in the mud/ice and are finally on their way back home at midnight. Poor guy has no idea what's waiting for him at home...He'll probably wish he was still lost in the woods!!! Wild animals ain't got nothin' on a Clomid Woman!

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Saturday, February 7, 2009

Update

Sorry it's been so long since my last update. Matthew and I live in Kentucky and were affected by the area's recent winter storm. Our power went out as the storm came in on January 27th. Because we have an electric furnace, water heater and stove and the temperatures were near zero, we piled in the car and headed for Matt's parents' home. We were very lucky to have someplace safe and warm to stay. Many of our neighbors were forced to go to the local shelter. Matt and I were finally able to move back home on February 3rd, thanks to the wonderful volunteers from Alabama, Michigan and South Carolina. Just in time too...I started Clomid on the 4th (Thursday). I haven't experienced any major side effects yet. I had a slight headache this morning, but a couple of Tylenol took care of it. I'm just glad to be back home. The thought of starting our first Clomid cycle while living in my in-law's basement was not a pleasant one!

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